08-26-23

ECCLESIOLOGICAL ETCHINGS
August 26, 2023 
Many of you know what it is like to journey alongside someone toward the end of life. Maybe it was a grandparent, parent, sibling, close friend, or simply someone God brought into your life. It is a draining experience on every level—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And until you are in the moment, it is hard to understand. And of course, there are the complexities when a number of family members are involved.

Over the last two+ years, my mother had seen a steady decline in her cognitive ability, along with ongoing struggles with her physical health. Of my siblings (there are four of us), I was the one who did not live in Lincoln, NE. I tried to make it there when I could, but my three siblings were quite amazing in their care and commitment to my mother. I know there were times when they were exhausted and other moments when my mother, because of her dementia, said things that were mean and hurtful. As a woman who served as the Care Minister at my home church for nearly 20 years, and had walked alongside many people during cognitive loss, my mother had heard many such comments herself. We talked about it as I experienced such moments in my own ministry, and like all of us, there was a bit of dread in my mother as she hoped she would never find herself doing such things. Sadly, it is not a choice.

If you find yourself serving as a caregiver right now, make sure you give yourself plenty of grace. It is never easy. Also, make sure you have friends or family with whom you can confide, laugh, and express frustration. We have a support group at Cypress Creek that many are finding helpful, but no matter what your situation looks like, do not take it on alone. Find opportunities for respite, even if it is a short walk while someone else sits with the one for whom you are providing care. With all that said, I am beyond grateful for all those who, amidst lots of heartache and hurtful happenings, are doing the good work of caregiving. And let me give a special shoutout to my siblings and a handful of special friends who were beyond faithful to my mom, both laughing and crying during some of the more challenging moments.

Today, O God, I pray for all those who are doing the daily work of caregiving—for those who were up most of the night; those who heard hurtful words; those who are exhausted emotionally and physically; those who are feeling the weight of financial concerns; those who find themselves doing anticipatory grieving. May your Eternal Spirit of Love and Compassion be known to all those who find themselves doing this often thankless job. Amen.