07-30-23

ECCLESIOLOGICAL ETCHINGS
July 30, 2023
Guest Writer: Rev. Mariah Newell
Numbers 20: 10-12 are verses of Scripture which I find oddly comforting. I feel always like I shouldn’t find them comforting. They are the verses where God tells Moses he’s not going to go with the group to the Promise Land.

10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” 11 Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.12 But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”

The catch here is that God asked Moses to speak to the rock not hit the rock with his staff. So, is God a big stickler about ‘my way or the highway?’ I would say, no. When God first called Moses at the burning bush, God asked Moses to be the voice of God to the people of God. Moses said no. He goes back and forth with God and finally says, “I’m slow of speech and tongue.” Moses had some sort of speech impediment or insecurity that made him doubt his voice right from the start.

God never doubted Moses. Moses doubted himself.

And even after all of what he went through in Egypt, seeing God on Mount Sinai, witnessing firsthand all of God’s power and love…God asked Moses to speak and he leaned on the ‘magic staff’ instead of trusting that God could us his voice.

I’ve been there. I think we’ve all been there at some point. Where we’ve doubted who God has called us to be or the gifts we’ve been given. It’s comforting to me that when I feel separated from God or not good enough, that isn’t the voice of God. That’s my lack of trust or my insecurity. I don’t hear God ‘exiling’ Moses, but instead sighing and saying, “You’re still not ready. I need someone to lead who is willing to trust.” God’s always ready to use us, just as we are even if we feel we are not good enough. God’s never shutting us out. We’re doing that to ourselves and we’re not alone in that struggle.

Prayer:
Loving God,
​Meet me where I feel I am lacking, where I feel insecure, where I feel I am unworthy of your call. Fill me with your love and grace so I can trust deeply. Drown out the voice that says “I can’t.” Remind me I am and always will be Yours. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.