04-19-24

ECCLESIOLOGICAL ETCHINGS
April 19, 2024
Sometimes choosing to set a healthy boundary can look to others like you are holding a grudge. Though the two could not be further apart, I can understand how smart boundary setting could be mistaken for a mean-spirited grudge. Part of this has to do with our poor understanding of forgiveness, along with the belief that self-care is selfish. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” though I think he could have said, “Until you truly love yourself and can show yourself a little bit of grace, you won’t be able to love your neighbor in a way that honors God’s love.” There is also a community component in that there can be situations where we know that loving that “neighbor” is going to be extraordinarily challenging in the short-term and maybe in the long-term. But as I continue to work on my capacity to love, being mindful of healthy and smart boundaries, I can both honor and celebrate the love others are displaying. It requires a maturity in one’s faith, along with a big-picture understanding of the Christian life. I remember hearing a mother of a murder victim speak with appreciation for the prison chaplain who was looking after the young man who had committed the murder. She said something like, “I want that young man to hear of God’s love, but I’m not the person who can do it.” I think that’s fair, for even forgiveness in a situation like that does not necessarily mean friendship.

I know I need to work on forgiveness, and I know I need your help, Merciful Spirit. Let me honor the process along with honoring my own spiritual and mental health. Amen.