02-28-25

ECCLESIOLOGICAL ETCHINGS
February 28, 2025 
On Sunday, we will be talking about self-control, and in my pondering of this topic the last couple of days, it sort of hit me that the first half of that hyphenated word is “self.” It is not an invitation to control others. One of the great challenges in life is realizing that we cannot dictate other people’s lives. We may try, but for anyone who has or had a teenager in your house, how did the prescribing of behavior work for you? Maybe you had better luck than I did. How about that friend who keeps on making bad choices? You know exactly how best to solve this problem, and you can provide the best advice, but you cannot make another person do anything. You cannot live their life for them. Oh sure, plenty of people try. And sadly, there are plenty of abusive situations where someone does control another human being. But in respectful and healthy relationships, it is all about advising, encouraging, helping, cheerleading, being there even after the twelfth failure, occasionally crying alongside, and trying to always find ways of loving. When you look at the life of Jesus, there was a deep respect for people’s free will. In Matthew 19, Jesus is talking with a young man who wants to know what good thing must he do to have eternal life. He had done exceptionally well in regard to following the basic rules of the faith, but then Jesus dropped the big one, “If you want to be perfect, go sell everything you own! Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come and be my follower.” The next line is, “When the young man heard this, he went away sad…” And guess what, Jesus didn’t yell, demand, manipulate, or guilt the man into following. Jesus let him walk away. There might not be a more profound respect for free will than this moment, even though we might view it as an unsuccessful one for Jesus. Maybe it was a success, in that faith was given the freedom to truly be faith.

As much as I want to fix everything, Lord God, I pray for the capacity to respect every person I meet, and even to respect their decision to choose something other than what I would choose. Amen.