| A Little More Trust |
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I’ve got a theory. Actually, it is not mine. It comes from a guy named Eric Weiner. I heard him on NPR not
long ago talking about what makes people happy. To my surprise, some of the happiest people in the
world are found in the colder regions of the world—Switzerland, Scandinavia and Iceland. Mr. Weiner went
on a trip to Iceland to make sense of this finding, and he said this:
Theories abound as to why cold or temperate climes produce happier people than warm, tropical ones. My
favorite theory is one I call the Get-Along-or-Die Theory. In warm places, this theory states, life is too
easy; your next meal simply falls from a coconut tree. Cooperation with others is optional. In colder places,
though, cooperation is mandatory. Everyone must work together to ensure a good harvest or a hearty
haul of cod. Or everyone dies. Together. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but interdependence
is the mother of affection. We humans need one another, so we cooperate — for purely selfish reasons at
first.
Trust is built, and from there, you find a vulnerability that creates opportunity for intimacy, friendship and
love. As I heard Mr. Weiner, I couldn’t help but agree with his assessment as it relates to Naples. I like
Naples—the sunsets, the weather, beaches, my church, etc. But for such a warm weather place, the
personality of the city is cold. Now if you are reading this from your office in Naples, please don’t take too
much offense. Yet I believe many of you will resonate with what I’m saying.
In Naples, nearly 2/3rds of us live behind walls (I’m one of them) with gates and guards…all this in what is
already one of the safest cities in America. There is wealth within our city that is beyond the capacity of
most of our imaginations. I say that as one with a pretty good imagination. Because of the wealth or the
fear of being recognized as not being wealthy, we are driven toward such a high level of independence
that our relationships are superficial and usually within a business model. We are also cautious in regard
to our relationships because many of those we meet are here only for a short period of time. When there
is instability and uncertain, we rarely show any genuine openness to another human being.
Putting it frankly, we don’t trust each other. I see this among the clergy here in Naples. I’ve never worked
in a place where the clergy are so radically independent of one another. A conversation I had at a
restaurant just two weeks ago illustrates this idea. A gentleman and I started to make some small talk. He
then asked me what I did for a living. When I said, “I’m a pastor,” he responded, “Oh, that’s telling. I
wondered why you were so friendly.” But then he paused and admitted that his pastor and his former
pastor, even though they were from the north, quickly took on the Naples’ attitude. Like so many, they too
were drawn into what this man called the emptiness of this city.
His comments might have been a bit overstated, but I do believe a lack of the Get-Along-or-Die mentality is
what is missing in Naples…missing in the lives of many peoples and cities across our country. At the same
time, I believe it is that very spirit that is helping to grow First Christian Church. The church saw death
squarely in the eye, and then it (or the people within it) realized that it was either band together or die.
They chose the former, and it is making all the difference. Trust leads us to true friendship. Vulnerability
brings us into life-giving relationships. The realization of our absolute dependence upon others leads to
humility which eventually gives way to joyful moments of the divine.
long ago talking about what makes people happy. To my surprise, some of the happiest people in the
world are found in the colder regions of the world—Switzerland, Scandinavia and Iceland. Mr. Weiner went
on a trip to Iceland to make sense of this finding, and he said this:
Theories abound as to why cold or temperate climes produce happier people than warm, tropical ones. My
favorite theory is one I call the Get-Along-or-Die Theory. In warm places, this theory states, life is too
easy; your next meal simply falls from a coconut tree. Cooperation with others is optional. In colder places,
though, cooperation is mandatory. Everyone must work together to ensure a good harvest or a hearty
haul of cod. Or everyone dies. Together. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but interdependence
is the mother of affection. We humans need one another, so we cooperate — for purely selfish reasons at
first.
Trust is built, and from there, you find a vulnerability that creates opportunity for intimacy, friendship and
love. As I heard Mr. Weiner, I couldn’t help but agree with his assessment as it relates to Naples. I like
Naples—the sunsets, the weather, beaches, my church, etc. But for such a warm weather place, the
personality of the city is cold. Now if you are reading this from your office in Naples, please don’t take too
much offense. Yet I believe many of you will resonate with what I’m saying.
In Naples, nearly 2/3rds of us live behind walls (I’m one of them) with gates and guards…all this in what is
already one of the safest cities in America. There is wealth within our city that is beyond the capacity of
most of our imaginations. I say that as one with a pretty good imagination. Because of the wealth or the
fear of being recognized as not being wealthy, we are driven toward such a high level of independence
that our relationships are superficial and usually within a business model. We are also cautious in regard
to our relationships because many of those we meet are here only for a short period of time. When there
is instability and uncertain, we rarely show any genuine openness to another human being.
Putting it frankly, we don’t trust each other. I see this among the clergy here in Naples. I’ve never worked
in a place where the clergy are so radically independent of one another. A conversation I had at a
restaurant just two weeks ago illustrates this idea. A gentleman and I started to make some small talk. He
then asked me what I did for a living. When I said, “I’m a pastor,” he responded, “Oh, that’s telling. I
wondered why you were so friendly.” But then he paused and admitted that his pastor and his former
pastor, even though they were from the north, quickly took on the Naples’ attitude. Like so many, they too
were drawn into what this man called the emptiness of this city.
His comments might have been a bit overstated, but I do believe a lack of the Get-Along-or-Die mentality is
what is missing in Naples…missing in the lives of many peoples and cities across our country. At the same
time, I believe it is that very spirit that is helping to grow First Christian Church. The church saw death
squarely in the eye, and then it (or the people within it) realized that it was either band together or die.
They chose the former, and it is making all the difference. Trust leads us to true friendship. Vulnerability
brings us into life-giving relationships. The realization of our absolute dependence upon others leads to
humility which eventually gives way to joyful moments of the divine.